Put on a show!
The title reminds me of that Britney Spears song. But asides from that this blog is meant to be a bit of a vent, but nothing TOO personal of my life, the both of us are likely just mere strangers and it'd be indecent for me to suddenly open up my ribs and show you my vitals when we haven't even had our first date yet. This is a vent as in it's more set in a general bitter melancholic tone.
I'm someone who generally enjoys not having attention diverted to them. I dislike having my blogs being on top blogs and I especially dislike it whenever there's lots of eyes on me. If I get a spike in attention I can usually tell SOMETHING has happened that would lead to people looking for me specifically. Otherwise why would everyone just suddenly say one day "Let's go to that Norrie person and read through all of their stuff"? because no, there had to be something that would've been the first domino.
"I like attention" is what I say when describing myself, but I think it's more complex than just a cookie-cutter definition like that. I like attention but ONLY attention from people that I trust and who wouldn't judge me with what I have to say: When it comes to strangers giving me attention, I get too provoked thus tunnel-visioned and I go to burn the concept of attention and then stomp and jump on the ashes in a whiny childish fit.
Of course, I'm talking about things that shines this florescent spotlight onto: Compilations (of any sort, not limited to just cringe) or just any video where a creator scans through deemed "cringe" people's accounts.
There is a very monotone mood of dehumanization when it comes to this. You have your obnoxious content creator combing it's cursor through a certain person's account and judging every single thing that comes out of them, hit upload, boom thousands of views with thousands of eye's pair watching that certain person, waiting for them to do something stupid like a hawk. Now imagine if that certain person was ME.
I'm not longer a "person" with hopes and dreams and blood running in my veins. Everyone that would watch that video and doesn't know me prior now goes to all of my accounts and treats me like I'm a fictional character. My feelings don't matter anymore, I have to put on a show now! I'm just entertainment, specifically the "Try not to laugh challenge" type entertainment where it's just a compilation of people getting hurt.
I used to find cringe compilations funny but now I'm just sad when I watch them now, especially when the person hasn't done anything wrong and is trying to express themselves through the stuff they've uploaded online. Sure the creator can just slap on a "Don't harass or witch hunt anyone, this is made for entertainment purposes only." and make everything okay. But I think everyone in the room knows nobody is going to listen to that first bit, and the second bit also bugs me because PEOPLE THAT ARE JUST DOING THEIR OWN THING ARE NOT ENTERTAINMENT especially if they haven't consented to being in a cringe compilation and you're just sneaking up on others with your professional film maker-level camera.
"Well why don't they just not post it if they don't want to be judged??" this is a shitty argument, nobody should be gatekept from posting on the internet especially if what they're posting is voluntary. There is also always that tiny little shimmer that they could find their sort of people on the internet, especially if that person lives in a small town or a rural area. Would you want to be posted on a cringe compilation for being yourself? that'd definitely leave a mark on your self esteem.
Please no twisting my words, I'm not saying I condone really bad people casually walking the internet like no big deal. Some people definitely deserve to get overthrown and de-platformed and some people definitely deserve to be called "lolcows" if they've done something terrible. What I'm saying is when it's taken to random unremarkable people that might be a little socially awkward or eccentric, but if they aren't hurting anybody then why care so much for their lifestyle or interests. The absolute biggest offender of making cringe compilations for are people that are MINORS aka people that are still growing and likely won't discover their authentic selves until way later.
My biggest fear is some random 100k subscriber YouTuber making a video talking about me, diving into the deepest crevices about me and, intentionally or unintentionally, redirecting their huge fanbase to me. Suddenly my comments and inboxes get flooded and nobody takes me seriously anymore until I do something stupid or say something stupid. THAT'S when everyone suddenly cares about me.
I can understand how hermits feel, everyone is judgmental as fuck to even the slightly different and it feels like literally nobody knows how to shut their mouth when it isn't appropriate. If you have nothing nice to say, don't say it.