You're not my mother
I feel like there's a certain tax on this site when I state that I'm a minor. Suddenly, it's like my words come out all jumbled, tangled and soaked, everything I say has a hint of "I do not know what I'm talking about" that makes you hysterical. When I utter a sound, my voice seems to have this, well, annoying immature ringing pitch to it, that accompanies all of my sentences and never quite leaves even when I'm quiet. My steps become heavy as stones and hard as rocks. Every surface I touch, once I recoil my fingertips, it begins to start feeling moist, and even somewhat sticky.
Does it sound like my mere presence is driving you? dragging you, even? I look pathetic, but I'm not being remarkable either, the opposite actually: I'm being embarrassing, disruptive, animalistic, "Parents need to fucking parent"-type child.
I've always found being a minor very annoying; it's like a skin tag I'm unable to cut off with scissors because the scissors I ordered online won't be here until next year. For me: turning 18 is not just some pitstop checkpoint in life, it's a finish line. A finish line with a prize of having more freedom; the responsibilities to come are just an after-thought. Even with that cool prize, I also find my words not arriving chewed up and grossly saliva covered also nice, too. I can feel myself being apart of the group photo, it's like the lid being lifted off and I get to see and feel the daylight after so long.
Maybe it's my pathetic need for socializing again. But all I ever wanted in life is to atleast have someone listen to me. To take me seriously, to not buckle into the need to "save" me or coddle me because I'm a little too low to reach up for some arbritary bar, to not see me as a drooling, incompetent, and whiny 2 year old just because I haven't waited another year yet.
"The brain doesn't stop developing until 25" Yeah.... that too. Turning 25 would be my victory lap, but for now I just want to get 17 over with. I'm looking at 2027, the year my 18th birthday nests in.
Whenever I say this people seem to rush close to be and tell me to "enjoy it while it lasts"; buddy I think it's too late to say that to me, I've lost that childhood bliss a long time ago and I already know the meaning to all of those adult jokes. I already feel 'grown', I just need to chronologically catch up now, that includes laying on the floor until everything about me has a hard, caked-on layer of dust due to standing still for so long.
In other words, I just want to be on the same level as everyone. Someone you don't turn your head downwards just to see me, I just want to be someone that's the same height as you.