I'm a smidge block-happy.
To scour around this establishment dubbed Top blogs
like a hunting animal in the wild. My breath pauses, and I narrow my eyes as I've found my special certain person to act invasive on. I order my underpaid cursor, who lives purely off of instant noodles, tap water and sadness, to rummage through their Spacehey history, to see if the both of us could be compatible in my oddly creepy mental fanfiction about real people.
I bit my tongue in anticipation for the results to come out, I needed to learn every nook and cranny about this person in order to make my decision. Luckily they have a track record of using this website's blogging system like a personal diary, and they seem open about sharing their most intimate details. My eyes begin to skim through all of their blogs at rapid pace, I translate whatever morals, opinions and points they provided when catching my breath. Admittedly, I started to get a little emotionally invested at some point.
With a smoky trail following my cursor after running the miles... I was finished with documenting this person. My results have spoken... we won't get along. The final message had devastasted me a little, but it's true, their words have violated all of my fixed opinions and if I add them I might be considered a bad person by the masses. I need to protect my honor and dignity and provide justice. I know who to call, the mighty block button.
The two of us go way back. I first met Block button when I was bursting into tears because I saw a social media post that made me froze in my usual doomscrolling session. The guy was saying how much he enjoyed putting kittens in the airfryer to eat for breakfast, I was so mad and sad, how dare he do that? it was so cruel. But that's when I met my knight in shining armor, Block button saw me crying and they gently tapped my shoulder, they were my meditator and they gave me a cheeseburger; food always makes me feel better... I sound like a fatass.
That was our backstory, and now I need to give block button a call to STRIKE! this moron down and put them in their place. Once the procedure has concluded, I couldn't help but smile with pure glee that my temple of my Spacehey account has been protected once more. I went to bed with relaxed nerves as these 'DNI lists' really do the trick in making sure my catalogue of people I talk to everyday are only people of purely good morals.
I didn't feel good after that night, I now constantly feel empty. Sure, I can justify it by stating a They were an immoral person. It needed to be done.
as a public announcement, but these pathetic feelings persist and my performance is degrading due to my focus being shifted. Once there was time, I thought about it long and... long, and my breath escaped once I realized; I've been keeping that air captive curled up in my DVD cabinet... I might've cared a little too much about that person, it was a mistake on my behalf and I lay down on the bathroom floor like a dog crying.
I start to write out new mental fanfiction in my head about me and this person if I never blocked them. We could be online interwebz friends!... and we could be meeting eachother in real life and getting married as these words speak for themselves!... I've only been able to eat canned mangos on the floor with a teaspoon that my mother has provided for me, and I'm running out of mangos. These are the world's worstest days, but I can't go back, if I block and unblock someone then that makes me sound clingy...
As it dawned on me, I've come up with a new moral compass. I felt bad for removing my DNI list, they made good music but due to them disbanding for 40 years at this point I have to remove them from my Spacehey profile because all the people that have listened to DNI list had their heads suddenly explode all at once and I might be next. So as I've turned over a new leaf, I've now decided to follow my heart and not the strict principles I've set up for myself.
Now I've come up with a little PSA: Instead of having strict mental rules on who to add to our Spacehey account, we should instead block based on our hearts: There will be people that solve world hunger but express themselves in a way that disturbs you; there will be people that enjoy kicking babies but you think they sound like a charismatic and fun person.
Not all stories are black and white... let us form a new age in Spacehey blogs, and curate
our experiences together, as the elite internet people that doesn't use mainsteam social medias. Truly the last intelligent people on this dying planet.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE POINT OF THIS LMFAO. The title is fat clickbait and that's a factual statement, not me admitting something. You can consider this a "dni bad" blog but I truly don't know... because I'll need to state this before the herd pesters me with IS THIS SATIRE OR RAGEBAIT!?!?!
comments, and to that I say yes-ish, it's not supposed to be a real story.
To the people that matter to me: do you like this blog format? It was so weird writing it but I think I'd do more of this.